Forgiveness: How to Forgive When It Feels Impossible

Forgiveness: How to Forgive When It Feels Impossible

Forgiveness is one of the most commanded—and misunderstood—principles in Scripture. We often talk about forgiveness as something noble, healthy, or freeing, and while all of that is true, the Bible presents forgiveness as something even deeper:
Forgiveness is an act of obedience that positions us to encounter the grace of God.

For many believers, the struggle is not whether we should forgive, but how we forgive when the wound is deep, the betrayal is real, and the offender shows no repentance.

Why Forgiveness Feels Impossible
Some offenses don’t just hurt—they alter us.
They reshape trust.
They affect identity.
They leave emotional and spiritual bruises that don’t heal quickly.
Scripture acknowledges this reality. Forgiveness is never minimized in the Bible; it is commanded in full awareness of how costly it is.

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” — Matthew 18:21–22 (KJV)

Jesus wasn’t teaching math—He was teaching surrender. Forgiveness isn’t about keeping score; it’s about releasing control.

Forgiveness Is Not Denial or Excusing Sin
One of the greatest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it means pretending the offense didn’t matter.

Biblical forgiveness does not:

• Deny the pain
• Minimize injustice
• Excuse sin
• Remove boundaries automatically

Forgiveness acknowledges the wrong, but chooses not to demand repayment.

“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” — Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

Jesus did not forgive us by denying our sin—He forgave us by absorbing its cost.

Forgiveness Is an Act of Faith, Not a Feeling
Waiting until forgiveness feels right will keep many believers stuck for years.
Forgiveness is not emotional agreement with what happened—it is faithful obedience to God’s command, even when emotions resist.

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
— Matthew 6:14–15 (KJV)

This passage isn’t about earning salvation—it’s about alignment. Unforgiveness disrupts fellowship with God because it places us in opposition to His nature.

Forgiveness Requires Grace—Not Willpower
This is where many people fail. They attempt forgiveness in their own strength.
Scripture is clear: we do not forgive by effort, but by grace.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

This is where your statement speaks directly to the heart of biblical truth:

“You will never be closer to the Lord than when you choose to walk in forgiveness towards somebody that doesn't deserve it, because you need God's grace, his ability to be able to do it, and he will be closer to you in that moment than any other.”

When forgiveness feels impossible, it becomes an invitation—not to try harder, but to draw nearer.

Forgiveness Positions Us to Experience God’s Nearness
God often meets us most intimately in places where obedience costs us deeply.

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (KJV)

Forgiveness breaks pride, exposes dependency, and requires humility. It places us in a posture where we must rely fully on God’s ability rather than our own strength.

“God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” — James 4:6 (KJV)

Forgiveness is not weakness—it is humble reliance on divine strength.

Forgiveness Frees the One Who Forgives
Unforgiveness always promises protection but delivers bondage.

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”— Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

Bitterness doesn’t stay contained—it spreads. Forgiveness cuts the root before it poisons the heart.  Jesus described unforgiveness as a form of imprisonment (Matthew 18:34–35). Forgiveness doesn’t rewrite the past, but it redeems the present.

A Practical Path Toward Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often a process, not a moment. Here are biblical steps to walk it out:

1. Acknowledge the wound honestly (Psalm 62:8)
2. Choose obedience before emotional resolution (John 14:15)
3. Ask God for grace, not justice (Hebrews 4:16)
4. Release the offender into God’s hands (Romans 12:19)
5. Speak a blessing and prayer over the offender (Luke 6:27)
6. Repeat as needed—forgiveness may need reaffirming (Luke 17:3–4)

Final Encouragement
Forgiveness does not mean the offender deserves grace—it means God deserves your obedience.  When forgiveness feels impossible, remember this:
That moment of surrender may be the closest you experience the Lord—not because the pain is gone, but because His grace is present.

“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.” — Luke 6:36 (KJV)

Grace flows freely where forgiveness is chosen.